Update

We haven't been around and it after a few inquires it seemed like it was time to come back and talk about it. Bailey is fine, but changed by what happened as are all of us.

We heard about an available Sheltie right before Easter weekend. We went down to meet the dog the weekend after Easter and brought him home. While I haven't written to her, I can only thank Dachshund Nola's Mom for sharing her rescue experiences because it helped me think through what we were experiencing and to understand we couldn't accept what had happened. Perhaps sharing this may help others who have to make tough decisions when rescuing or encourage rescues to be more honest in what they tell potential adopters.

The one hard fast rule we had when approaching another rescue dog was that the dog had to be compatible with the two we had, no exceptions. We won't accept an aggressive dog. We were lied to and feel betrayed and after almost a month still angry. It is one thing not to know a history of a dog and make a bad placement. It is another to know a dog has problems and not disclose those issues to a prospective owner, thinking perhaps they will deal with it and not bring the dog back.

We had looked on the website and had seen several younger, very tempting dogs that were clearly labeled as not being able to be adopted with other dogs, in homes with other male dogs, male owners, etc. Not all dogs are listed on the website, the policy has always been that they will call people with applications on file with a match first. So, we had some confidence when we got the call that we would be getting a dog that was compatible with a male and female dog, since this dog hadn't been listed and they screened applications for compatibility. He was older than we'd hoped for, but we were willing to adopt a senior if he was a good match for our other two and we'd not have to deal with aggression issue.

Sadly, this was not the case and they knew it before they ever contacted us. This is what has taken me so long to calm down enough to write about is the anger and frustration this caused. None of this would have happened if honesty had been at the center of this adoption discussion. The dog had come in with a female and they were adopted separately. This we only discovered because two names were listed on the dog's adoption folder. This in itself is not unusual. Sadly, it is hard to find homes for one senior. Finding someone who can take on the challenge of two senior dogs can be insurmountable. However, in this case placing them together was never considered. We only discovered the full story after returning the dog. He had been very aggressive towards his female housemate and it was determined she would be happier away from him. Who thought placing him with another female was a good idea!!!!

I do take some of the blame I didn't listen to my gut. This is an important message I think all of us need to understand. There is a profound difference between doubts and a gut instinct that is telling you something is wrong. I had some questions when we got Katy because we were going in blind with her. They provided little background information on her. However, she didn't show any signs of aggression, more of shyness and fear. I had concerns, but I wasn't feeling that gut instinct, more mentally trying to figure out how we'd work around her challenges. With this dog it was different. My gut was screaming at me we were making a mistake when we were signing the paperwork for this dog. While I told myself I'd had the same concerns when we'd picked up Katy, I knew I was lying to myself. This situation was very different. We should have walked away.

When we brought him home he attacked Bailey and attempted the same behaviors with Katy that I found out later he had used on his previous housemate. His triggers were not consistent. He could be fine about something and then lose it. We quickly had to keep the dogs separate and that was not a workable solution to living with multiple dogs in the same home. In trying to locate some information about his previous housemate to see if that would give us some clues under her adoption notice, I found his had already been posted. While we'd never been given his adoption write up, here it was clearly posted on the adoption page. He was supposed to be an only dog as he didn't like to share attention with other dogs. At that point he had already been added to Katy's yearly vet appointment and I hoped perhaps the Vet could tell me what was causing this change in behavior since the foster indicated he'd been great around other dogs. After reading that notice I cut and pasted it into an email and sent a notice stating we were enforcing the contract and returning the dog within the two week trial period.

The one positive I walk away from this experience with is I believe he is more ready for life in a single animal home. He has been appropriately groomed (don't get me started on that), the Vet discovered he has arthritis in both knees so that can be treated. I hope we have demonstrated he should be an only dog as the original adoption notice indicated. That was one of the most frustrating things to discover. I think he would actually be a great only dog. Someone had taken the time to teach him commands, so that would be a plus for someone who wanted a dog that was trained. For someone who wanted a devoted dog, he's your dog. He just isn't going to be a dog you want in a home with other animals. This is why I haven't used his name or discussed where he came from in this post. My hope is he does find that single dog home where he and his new owners will be happy.

Before anyone mentions it I am aware that rescues are run on an all volunteer basis. It is hard work and believe me I more than appreciate the hard work, love and effort that brought us Katy and Bailey. This mistake is one that I'm hearing about all too often. This was not a matter of not knowing the dog had issues. This was a failure to inform. Had we been told the dog was aggressive, we'd never have brought him home. Talking to other adopters I've heard far too many stories of people not being informed of dogs having previously being returned for issues of aggression, or other serious issues that can impact a successful adoption. Clearly no dog is ever perfect, but knowing as much as you can about a dog you are thinking of adopting helps one make an informed choice and is likely to result in permanent home.

I am not sure where we go forward from here. This failed rescue weighs heavily on all of us. It did some damage not just physically, but emotionally to Bailey and Katy. Bailey and Katy grew apart while he was here because he bullied both of them. Thankfully, after they were sure he was gone, they seem to have resumed their relationship. Bailey however, is weaker than he was before. He has less energy and confidence and that only increases my guilt.

My DH and I also felt hugely guilty about giving up on the rescue, but our Vet really pushed home the damage being done to Bailey and that helped reinforce the choice to return him. I've never felt a moment of concern or doubt about the safety of letting Bailey and Katy roam freely in the house together. Sure they get into doggy mischief, but I never question that they'd hurt each other. I never had a moment of peace with the rescue here. The only time I knew that all dogs were safe was when he was crated, the other two were outside, or he was outside and they were inside. I will not live that way.

As I said, I'm not sure where this leaves us. We are still in the same situation we were before with Katy. Bailey is our miracle dog and according to the Vet is doing well against all odds. However, when the time comes she will not be happy as an only dog and I'm going to have to find a solution that brings another Sheltie or perhaps a Collie into the family. How that happens I don't know. I was always 100% sure it was going to be a rescue situation. Now I don't know where we go from here.

Service Dog Etiquette

While not wordless, I waited until Wednesday to post this in the hope of engaging Blogville in an effort to get the word out about behavior around service dogs. For years, we've discussed how to educate the public about approaching strange dogs, to make our own dogs safer. However, recently the topic of service dogs and strangers has become more personal as my niece has been struggling with the issue since getting her service dog, Darcy, pictured here. She was a rescue, who she had trained to be her service dog. While more people are getting service dogs, the public is still relatively unaware of how to behave around a working dog. This has made her life challenging, as people don't seem to understand the basic etiquette for service dogs. I hope we in Blogville can work towards changing that.

I believe we have made a difference in educating people about how to interact safely with our pet dogs. I think we can turn that towards educating the public about safely interacting with an ever growing number of service dogs. The range of jobs service dogs perform is growing. While the public seems to recognize the physical services dogs can perform, dogs are also being trained in medical detection and assistance, as well as in mental health capacities. When these dogs are in public, they are working dogs. It is important that people understand the different roles played by pet and service dog.

There is an important distinction between working professional and pet dog. Sadly not just children, but adults need to be reminded that service dogs are providing valuable assistance and distracting them from the work they do is irresponsible. While the dogs are trained to ignore distractions, the effort involved with ignoring those distractions is effort not being put towards the tasks assigned to the dog. The damage caused can range from minor annoyances to major issues. The ultimate goal is for service dogs to be no more of an interest to the public than a wheel chair or a cane. The fact that the dog is alive and cuter than most medical devises shouldn't mean people can't control themselves and act responsibly.

Think of the dog as a dentist working with a drill. Would you want someone walking into the dentist's office as he/she is drilling your teeth distracting him/her while the drill is doing critical work? That is the image to keep in mind when you see a dog working. You don't know what the dog's tasks are and how failure to achieve those tasks could impact the person.

Humans are curious by nature. However, it is important to remember is that it isn't our job to know what the diagnosis is that the dog is trained to manage unless the person wants us to know. You may see a stranger in a wheel chair, walking with a cane or walker, but how many of you feel you have a right to ask why he/she needs that medical device? How did he/she get one? How much did it cost? How long did he/she have to wait to get one? While dogs are not inanimate objects, they are medically prescribed and you have no more rights to ask a stranger why they have a service dog than why they have a medical device. As I said humans are curious, it doesn't mean we need to be rude. Some people are more than happy to discuss the dog with you. However, what if anything they wish to discuss is up to the individual.

As you may have noticed, I told you my niece has a service dog, but not why. That is her story to tell. When and who she chooses to share that with is her business. She was kind enough to share her pictures with me for this story. While she was willing to share more of her story, I chose not to for this article. It is enough to know she has a medical prescription for a service dog. Beyond that, there is no need to know, unless she chooses to share it with people. At some point, I may write another blog about Darcy and do that.

I think it is also important to know a person isn't necessarily being mean or rude if he/she chooses not to interact with you while out with the service dog. Some people are very enthusiastic and willing to talk about their experiences with the service dog. Others have a dog because it is the only way that person leaves the house and gets to his/her daily tasks. Like anything else people fall on a spectrum. Not everyone feels education and advocacy is one of his/her daily goals. Just because you see a dog, it doesn't mean it is the duty of that person to educate you or your child on the duties of the dog or give a show of what the dog can do. A working dog is not an entertainer; it is present to care for the person assigned to it. Don't take it personally. If you want to learn more about service animals there are plenty of ways to educate yourself and your children, random strangers are generally not the best option.

One thing not required by all states, but I do think helps the public is when services dogs are identified as such. If you notice in these pictures, Darcy is vested. Depending on the situation, the vest allows her to wear different patches to help the public be more aware of her job. While I can understand those with service animals may feel this is restrictive, it is a non-verbal message that identifies the dog as a working dog. While this won't work on all, as education becomes more wide spread about the work of service animals, being able to identify one should make it easier for those with working dogs to be left alone. It also makes for fewer questions when animals are entering areas where only service dogs are allowed, pets are not. It is a small price to pay to help create more awareness and tolerance for service dogs.

I know I'm preaching to the choir in Blogville, however, it is our mission to go beyond our borders to get the word out to others about this issue. The number of service dogs is increasing and the lack of knowledge about how to interact with them in public is creating challenges for those who need the animals to be focused on work and not be distracted by the uniformed and the curious. I don't think the vast majority of people mean to do harm, they just don't understand the harm they do. That is where we can make a difference through education and advocacy.

Wordless Wednesday: The Bunny Dances!!

Mom came home from the Eye Vet and had new glasses and since she stopped at the mall on the way home to get new glasses decided to bring home this fellow for Easter. Mom doesn't do video but he sings an Egg song and dances. It is rather bizarre, but Mom loves it and is convinced it will be a hit at the annual Easter Egg hunt.

Good News at the Vet

We thank all of you for your prayers and good wishes. We took Bailey to the Vet yesterday, yes on his birthday because of his refusal to eat his kibble, his continuing issues with diarrhea, his inability to sleep through the night, and his overall discomfort made trying to get an appointment sooner rather than later important. We'd been in contact with his Vet by phone, but this seemed like a visit was needed.

She continues to believe this is IBS not Lymphoma based on his symptoms and his overall health. She believes the Lymphoma test might have been a false positive based on the fact he's not followed the course of a dog who has Lymphoma and hasn't received chemo. This was such a relief, I felt the world had been lifted from my shoulders. She gave him some additional meds and he's back on beef and rice for a bit until we can get his stomach settled, but she really believes we can manage this and it isn't a sign that Lymphoma is emerging. Once his stomach settles again, we'll have to see where we go with a feeding program that will keep the weight and muscle growth he got back after starting the prescription kibble.

Not the birthday he was hoping for, but I feel like it's Christmas folks.

Happy 13th Birthday Bailey

This is a post I was never sure I was going to get to make. Last fall we struggled with the possibility that Bailey might have Lymphoma and the prognosis was not good. We did not expect him to see Halloween, let alone celebrate his birthday.

His Vet currently thinks his diagnosis might have been a false positive. He's regained the weight he lost and shown no additional signs of Lymphoma. That being said he has started to struggle with his food again. There could be a thousand reasons, but we ask for all your prayers as we celebrate his big day.

I truly can't believe it has been almost 13 years since we picked up this bundle of joy from his foster Mom. He was such a bundle of energy, there was not a piece of paper safe in the house. Even from his crate he could find ways to pull paper into his crate to shred. Even today, we don't leave the house unless his access to trash is restricted. That boy has a paper habit that while dulled with age, can still stir at any time. Although, with all fairness, Katy seems to be responsible for much of that destruction today.

Happy Birthday, Bailey. It was truly a blessed day when we found you at New England Sheltie and brought you home. You have changed our lives in so many wonderful ways. Enjoy your birthday treats and bones before Katy steals them all.

Wordless Wednesday: Signs of Spring

The crocus have arrived.

The Easter Toys are Out

Mom finally returned our Easter Toys from the evil attic.