Bailey Has Crossed the Rainbow Bridge

Yesterday morning our Vet very compassionately and caringly helped Bailey to cross the bridge.

It became clear over the weekend that the baby food strategy wasn't working. When we tried to add solid food back in, his stomach rejected it and he soon no longer could eat the baby food, either. He fought hard, but his Vet believes the Lymphoma diagnosis may in fact have been the correct one. Bailey just managed to hold off the symptoms longer than expected. Perhaps an early start on steroids may have regressed it's growth for a bit. What ever the delay we can only be grateful that instead of losing him before Halloween, we had him until yesterday. We were grateful for every extra moment.

Our Vet isn't open on Mondays and I must say selfishly it was a relief. Katy, Bailey and I spent the day together. As you can see in the picture we brought his bed downstairs and he spent much of the day resting in it. This in itself was a sign things were not right. Bailey hated changes in the environment. I once tried moving his bed downstairs when he was sick and he got all agitated and upset. Monday I knew it was the right move. The bed provided maximum head, back, and behind support and he was comfortable lounging in it.

We also spent some time in the back yard. Bailey had a short burst of energy scrambling along the fence to say goodbye to an old friend.

Katy was until the end an amazing companion. She stayed close to him comforting him and encouraging him. The vet said she understood more than we did what was happening and I must say I agree. When Bailey had to stay overnight for testing, Katy was inconsolable until Bailey arrived safely home the next day, at which point she sniffed him from head to tail. I dreaded her reaction to us coming home without Bailey this time. However, she seems to know he's gone. She didn't look for him at the door when we came in. When she counted Bill and I, she turned back from the door and settled down. She didn't look for Bailey, which she's always done when we've had to take him without her. The Vet was right again.

I have to thank our incredible Vet for her assistance during this journey. Since we started seeing her when we brought Bailey home as a puppy from rescue there have never been any stupid or silly questions, she has addressed each one with practical honest answers. As we approached this difficult time she encouraged, supported, and cheered each victory with us. She offered so much help and guidance in finding ways to keep Bailey eating. When it came time to say goodbye, nobody could have handled it with more compassion and made us feel like family.

It is amazing how many lives Bailey touched in his 13 years. People keep reminding us of their favorite Bailey story. He had a unique ability to reach out to humans and dogs alike finding ways to comfort and entertain. Run free over the bridge my brave one. You have more than done your duty here on earth. You will always be our baby boy.

Thankful Thursday: Bailey's Vet Visit

Bailey went to the Vet on Tuesday to have a check up and see where things are at with his Lymphoma. You see according to his diagnosis he wasn't supposed to be here much past the beginning of Oct. Halloween came and went and he is still chasing Katy around and eating all his meals. He looks like a skeleton, but a pretty healthy one by all accounts. So, we decided it was time to talk to his vet and see what else we could do to make him comfortable.

She quite frankly is shocked. Our Vet is not someone who tends to get excited and exaggerate, but she used the word miracle. She doesn't want to give us false hope, but he is not progressing in the way you'd expect a dog with Lymphoma, not getting chemo, to progress. That doesn't mean the signs won't come, but everything says they should be here now. Seeing him doing this well is a miracle. While he's lost muscle weight, he still is the weight at which he was diagnosed. She was stunned to find him still playing, eating, having regular stool, and frankly living his life to the fullest. She isn't sure what to make of it, but she did suggest we focus on trying to put some weight on without risking him starting to vomit. Vomiting would be a very bad sign. So we increased his beef and rice and he's getting between meals vet recommended kibble, which so far he's been able to keep down and he hasn't turned his nose up after one meal, which was a previous problem.

She debated reducing his steroids, but at this point she didn't want to ruin what is working. He's already on a reduced dosage from his original plan.

Each extra day has been a miracle. Bailey loves Halloween and we thought that would be our Blessing, getting to watch him greet the kids one last time. However, he's continuing to fight. We don't know how long this miracle will last, but there is a good chance with Thanksgiving so close that Bailey will get in his favorite tradition of watching the football games on the couch and getting lots of attention from extended family. Being even more optimistic we booked a visit with Santa for a dog charity fundraiser for December 5th and included Bailey on the list for the photographer. There will be no issue changing to Katy, so it seemed a safe risk.

The Vet gave us credit, but honestly I credit Katy. She has evolved so much since Bailey got sick. She has always been close to him, but now she takes so much more responsibility for their relationship. She will curl up and rest with him when he is really tired. However, she will poke and prod him until he plays with her when she thinks he's just being a cranky old guy. She'll steal his bones or a toy, knowing he can't resist stealing them back and thus keeps him interested in life. She finds things to explore outside and insists he will help. If anyone has provided Bailey with the will to live and to fight Katy has been at the heart of it all. She is not going to let him go without a fight.

We thank all of you for your prayers and good wishes. We certainly have benefited from them. We ask that you continue them as we would love to keep Bailey with us through Christmas and as long after that as God is willing. We are making the most of each day and perhaps that is the blessing in all of this.

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Fabulous Friday

Bailey is resting after a busy play day with Katy.

We are celebrating though because tomorrow is a spa day. Well normally only Katy loves spa days. She thinks her monthly visit to the groomer really is a spa and Mom has continued this fantasy for years now. Bailey not so much. He hates the spa. However, even Bailey is celebrating this month as much as he dreads going. You see last month after getting his Lymphoma diagnosis we weren't sure if we should make this appointment based on the information we got from his vets regarding his prognosis. We weren't sure he'd still be here to go or if was here he'd be healthy enough to go.

Well folks Dad made the appointment and the people there knowing our situation let us know we could notify them if there was a reason we wouldn't need the appointment. Bailey is going to that appointment tomorrow and we can't be happier.

After the first terrified week of preparing for death, we are deciding to live life each day. It took some time to let go the fear and learn to live in the moment. We don't know how long Bailey will be with us. However, we don't honestly know how long Katy will be with us either. With Bailey, we just happen to know there is an issue that will shorten his life soon. Katy's future health is a bit more of a mystery.

We have made some practical plans regarding the future. We are now on a waiting list for another Sheltie working with the breed rescue who brought us Bailey and Katy. Katy will not function well as an only dog, so we have to prepare for that situation. The vets helped us find medications which have allowed Bailey to continue eating and functioning for the time being. A close friend helped us to find food that Bailey would eat and for the moment we've stopped his weight loss. That has been a huge help in keeping him happy and playing.

Bailey is doing well and today we celebrate his continued fight. We thank all of our Blogville friends for their good wishes and prayers.

Thankful Thursday: Good Friends

One of the things I've always been grateful for is how quickly Katy and Bailey bonded. When you rescue two dogs so far apart, each with their own challenges, even with the best screenings you can't guarantee they will bond this way.

As Bailey continues his fight, he has his closest friend by his side encouraging him to enjoy each day, each moment. Katy has encouraged ball games, yard explorations, bones wars, and all kinds of other games. She is doing everything possible to encourage him to live his days to the fullest.

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One Day at a Time

We had an amazing weekend. If you didn't know Bailey was dealing with Lymphoma you wouldn't have guessed. The beef and rice diet has been agreeing with him and he has been very playful.

We are are trying to find a balance between denial and grief and live in the moments that will be cherished memories in the future. Lots of play time, cuddles, and silliness that are life with Shelties.

The dogs were groomed this weekend and there was that tense moment as we booked appointments for the next month, do we book one for Bailey or not? We booked. We can always cancel, but while he's never enjoyed groomings, he felt better after this last one. Again it is the balance between denial and pessimism. I don't know how long he has and why not make sure he is clean and comfortable for as long as he has?

Oddly enough while Bailey has been more playful, Katy has been more reserved. Other than chasing bunnies she has been much quieter and calmer lately.

On the bunny front they actually had a coordinated herding movement yesterday. Bailey who has always been more into the garter snake hunts than the bunnies joined in corning an escaping bunny for Katy yesterday turning it in an expert herding movement right towards Katy. Katy was so thrilled that she herded that bunny right to the fence and she and Bailey celebrated their bunny removal.

We thank all of you who have posted your thoughts, prayers, and good wishes. It has meant the world and more. Blogville is and continues to be a very special place for those of us who dwell here.

Our Hearts are Breaking

The call came this morning, the one we've dreaded. Our hopes had been raised all weekend and this week. Bailey had been his old self more than ever. He's loving the rice and beef diet. He's out chasing the bunnies. He's playing ball like he hasn't wanted to in weeks. Yet, the sad fact is that he has Lymphoma and we are looking at weeks to perhaps a couple of months with our beloved first pup.

I warned myself yesterday, when they called to say the tests were delayed because they wanted to do further testing. I hoped against hope they would tell me it was just being diligent because they hadn't found anything, but a little voice kept warning me.

That being said I'm grateful for this time of hope and enjoyment of his renewed energy, no matter how long it lasts. Even now it is hard to appreciate his renewed life when all I can focus on is losing him. This weekend I focused on loving him and enjoying his company. I appreciated what an amazing gift his life is to our family.

Right now all I can do is cry as I think about losing him and how horrible it will be not to find him constantly at my side when I need him. I want to go back to just loving him for how ever long I have him, but I can't stop the tears.

I know many of you have been there. My own Mom lost her dog to Lymphoma just this week. It is just hard to accept that Bailey won't be here for Thanksgiving and Christmas. That's how close a time we are looking at. Not years from now, but simply the next holiday Halloween is even questionable. He loves greeting the kids when they come for candy. That's a tough blow.

We ask for your continued prayers for Bailey and Katy. I'm not sure how she is going to deal with all of this. She and Bailey have always been close and it has already been causing her stress.